Bass Heaven

Grasshopper Hell
A meaning to life finally
Right this way,,,no waiting in line...
Would not you step into my coffee can of Love?
Make your life meaningful,
make it count,,,
make yourself comfortable!
Sorry it is so crowded here,,,
You know I never met
a big fat Grasshopper I didn't love and Like
instantly....
Hey Jiminy,,,Mr Cricket,,,
would you like to go fishing
with some friends.

L.H. Lawrens

Police of the Future

POLICE OF THE FUTURE
Police of the future will be 3D holographic images projected from a central computer command center. With the miracles of computer aided science these quasi-living-non-beings will not only be able to see, hear and smell but will have the x-ray vision law enforcement demands today. They would be able to read minds, therefore abolishing the need for Criminal Lawyers Human rights and Judges. They could not be killed or even hurt, they'd be impervious to bullets, human insults, or belief systems, that get in the way of police work anyway. These "HOLOGRAPHIC HEROES of LIGHT" and of what's right and by God is going to stay that way, would not get paid, retire become disabled or form local unions. Since they can't be killed there'd be no need to carry a gun, but they'd have the indiscriminate touch of death just in case you've got a big mouth. The Government assures us no one would escape x-ray scrutiny by the HOLO-POLICE, all laws can finally be enforced no matter how ridiculous. A spokesman for the project stated "Don't be surprised if someday you'll be having a good time, breaking some law or ordinance, when seemingly out of nowhere a squad of HOLO-COPS are beamed into the middle of your unsuspecting living room. You'll find quick justice as you and your entire family (and TOTO too) will be instantly beamed to prison or incinerated, (depending on results of The X-ray investigation.) saving the Government billions."
IGNORANT LAW IS NO EXCUSE, ANYMORE!!!
Bad Boy,,,Bad Boy what ya gonna do, now we can beam It to you!

L.H Lawrens

Future Universitys

COLLEGES OF THE FUTURE
Colleges of the future will be giant conglomerate controlled, computerized
detention centers. Robots will replace all but the senile and soft professors
who could not survive the retraining period to become "POLICEPROFFIERS".
These "UNICOMPUVERSITYs'" will be maximum security and all students will have
life sentences, but with good grades could be "GRADUOLED" in about 5 to IO
years. These meta-schools of high-tech thought will be so large, there will
be little time for actual learning, so "AUTOMATED MIND CONTROL" machines
will electronically impress educating engrams through a force fed funnel
system directly into the brain.

As the-quality and the speed of education increases, students would be systematically replaced with small inexpensive, Japanese, IBM compatible
disposable computers. New standards of academic excellence are promised.
Testing will become obsolete as the "AUTO MIND CONTROL" machines will read
students minds, and with digital precision, fail them and automatically
send them to a truck driving school somewhere in Kansas.
Upon "GRADUOLMENT, GRADUOLEES" are guaranteed positions as Truck driving Robot computers who make a linear living "punching' each others buttons all day.


L>H> Lawrens

Whales

Whales
Whales they say are actually alien beings from a nearby
galaxy. Russian Anthropologist Dr.Omar "Stoli" Vodkasskvitch
has discovered the remains of an underwater fast food
restaurant, that apparently served Russian Eskimos to giant
whales.
Close by the ancient restaurant was found the frozen remains
of a whale that apparently had just eaten at the fast food
eatery for fat fish, and died. When the stomach of the
prehistoric creature was opened an entire Eskimo family
stepped out alive. Yes it was more than igloo that kept this
arctic family together for over a million years. They formed
a bond that will probably never be broken. When asked how
they could have survived for so long, the leader of the clan
said overcoming boredom is the secret to longevity.
Later investigation proved that whales came here from a
desert planet in a nearby galaxy with few Eskimos their
natural food.
When they discovered Earth they were delighted, so many
Eskimos to eat and their skulls and oil made a good lamp.
Whales flourished, and whale society was at a peak when
disaster struck.
Some whales were discontent with just having all the Eskimos
a whale could eat. They lusted for better things, caviar and
cod liver oil champagne. So a few greedy whales formed a
giant conglomerate, they began mass production, processing
Eskimos at an unheard of rate. Soon they were selling
franchises interplanetarily, every whale was cashing in on
the tremendous Eskimo potential. Eskimos were being hunted
down like animals, and no whale saw the coming doom of the
Eskimo fast food industry.
Then one day they realized they had all but wiped out the
vast Eskimo herds that they once trapped on the ice flows.
There was barely enough Eskimo meat to make an Eskimo pie,
much less supply a fast food industry.
Many whales ruined financially committed suicide some
returned to their home planet as prodigal sons, the ones
that stayed were never the same.

L.H. Lawrens